Still remember

...Why english?...

Sometimes, the knowledge of more than one language allows you to express yourself in a better way. Although you can always translate, not always the words adquire the same meaning. Once before I stablish this difference with the expression "fall in love" that although is written in spanish, I think it quite gets the idea.

I think this is my second post in english, that's because poems are usually better in spanish...and because I keep english as my personal language. Usually, all my true feelings and deep secrets are kept in english... I still don't know why ^^

...My actual post...

I still remember those sweet dreams I once had and promised to make real. I still remember those dying days of which I’m heir, heir of a dying day full of fears, full of tears.

I still remember my face always smiling without any doubt.

Now I can tell confusion has never been so within me, here without you the poetry dies, and so do I.

I’ve been waiting so long to find my self in the shadow of your love, now I have it but that is not enough.

I still remember my last effort to stay alive, my last whisper in a gentle ear, my last kiss to a sweet mouth, my last breath to a human soul.

Now it has been so long since I lost my soul by loosing my path to another world. The world of smiles and no tears is long gone, sweet tears taken down by a gentle mouth, a kind hand and a spirit of love, knowing what I have, knowing I wasn’t alone.

Now I remember how I still prey for someone to catch me as I fall, fall down to the jaws of sweet dead, falling into the mouth of hot hell.

The closest I am the less I feel...

The closest I am the more I fear...

I still remember the world form the eyes of a child, suddenly I know it’s not real, suddenly I prey to be lied to again, with an effort to believe in your word I let myself fall down again.

Fall down to a place I once promised I’ll never step on. A place where love is one student and pain is the master.

I’ve tried to run away, to conquer dead and return to life, but I still remember what made me sick, what made me fall dead, what made me dry my eyes, what made me a fool and slave of pain followed by a sweet and fading light that tries to rescue me from all that, though we all know that makes no sense, we all know I’ve always been dead, we all know that with time, I’ll still remember all the lies.

All the cuts left a scar, all the pain I paid, all the music I never heard, all the poems I ever wrote and burnt with my fear to you, with a fear of this to be known...

I still remember when I first loved you; I still remember the words you never gave me, I’m still waiting for you to accomplish all your old promises, I’m still waiting for you to change, change my life.

All I have to say now is, I still remember your hate, your nonsense love, a fake love, a fake world you made to make everybody think this is perfect. You seem so perfect; every body wants to be like you, not me, not ever...

I know the meaning of hate thanks to you. I’ll never be like you; you are not what you seem.

All the pain leaves a message, all the tears leave a path, all the actions leave a memory, and all your actions left a scar.

I still remember what is like to be loved, I know you don’t love me, I don’t want you to love me anymore, I just want you to heal my scars, to seal my pain and conquer my dead dreams, make them come alive again.....make me come alive again....make me love again.....

I still remember the childhood when I thought a mother loved me and kept my dreams safe....long, so long ago...but I still remember